They say that when you have a child, it's like your heart is walking around outside of your body. I think this is a pretty spot-on description of motherhood. What they don't tell you is what do to when your baby goes off to college and your heart is walking around 18 hours away.
We dropped Jack off at college over the weekend. I'm so thankful that the university had a Welcome Weekend for students AND parents at move-in, so we could see Jack settled in and figuring things out on his own.
I found myself starting to cry randomly in the weeks leading up to move-in day. At the grocery store when buying Jack's favorite things, during Mass, listening to music. (Here are a few songs you should NEVER listen to before taking your child to college: Landslide by The Dixie Chicks (this is my favorite version), Time of Your Life by Green Day, Home by Phillip Phillips, I Lived by One Republic....delete them from your playlists at all costs.)
[Side note: I stand with criers everywhere. Whoever said "Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened" is, pardon my French, full of crap. There is no shame in crying! (Says the mom who was experiencing major eye leakage outside her son's dorm as she said goodbye.)]
Selfishly, I'm going to miss seeing Jack's sweet face every day. My favorite part of the day was when he walked through the front door from school or work. We didn't have sit-downs or heart-to-hearts every day, but just knowing he was home made me happy. Fixing him a snack, asking who he ate lunch with that day, listening to a funny story from class...I'm going to miss that.
This time is such a MIX of emotions. Of course, there's happiness. You're bursting with happiness for them and the opportunities they just have to reach out and grab. You're proud as you see them come into their own, figure out their way in this new environment. There's worry...will he be safe, will he make friends, did he pack the right clothes, will he get along with his roommate, will he ever wash his sheets? There's regret: in these last few weeks, I've thought a lot about things I didn't do...things I should have. I shouldn't have run so many errands, maybe we should have kept him in swim lessons longer, I should have been more patient and never raised my voice, I definitely should have made him eat more broccoli. There's also a lot of prayer, "Dear God, thank you, thank you, thank you for this boy. Please, please, please watch over him." Repeat, repeat, repeat.
Mostly, I'm beyond thankful for the last 18 years with this sweet boy under our roof.
Jack has sort of grown up on the blog....I found this post. I think it was the first time his face was on the blog, way back in 2008.
Let me tell you a few things about these cookies for a minute. No tutorial pics, but a few notes you'll want when making them:
- I used this recipe for the cut-out cookies and this one for royal icing.
- Colors used: (Blue) Americolor Midnight with a touch of Navy, (Green) Americolor Forest Green with a touch of Leaf, (Yellow) Americolor Gold
- Notre Dame cookie cutter on etsy
- Shamrock Stencil from Artfully Designed Creations
I made the cookies at few weeks ahead, bagged them, boxed them, and popped them in the freezer. They thawed as we made the drive to school and were ready to share with roommates when Jack moved in.
Yesterday was the first day of classes. We talked with Jack last night and when we hung up, Mr. E and I agreed that he sounded...different, older. Most importantly, he sounded happy. What more can you ask for? ♥